I've been thinking about this question a lot. Since deciding to homeschool almost 2 years ago, not a day has gone by that I haven't asked myself this question.....sometimes because of positive reasons, other times, not so much. Sometimes the question is asked to me by friends or family and the answer can vary depending who I'm talking with (or what mood I'm in at the time!). I decided to write this post to help me put into words some of the things in my head and in my heart. I am in no way writing this to convince others to homeschool; nor am I writing this to defend my choice to homeschool. This is more of an opportunity for me to reflect on the question and express some of my reasons (the list keeps getting longer and longer) for homeschooling. Most importantly to me, when I have one of "those days" where I don't think I can do it any more, I can read this post again and hopefully have a renewed vision and desire to homeschool my children.
Homeschooling was one of those things I said "I would NEVER do!" Sometimes God has a different plan for our life than we do. I firmly believe that God led us to homeschool, and since I want to follow His will for my life, I will strive daily to lay down my plans and desires and follow His plan for my life. This is hard some days when things aren't going so well and I start thinking about how the boys could be in school and I could have time to myself!! I hardly even know what that is anymore! More time to clean the house, read, go to the store by myself, maybe even get a nap in (something that I'm just not getting this pregnancy!).....I could go on and on! However, when I stop to think about it, God gave me these precious children for only a short time and He wants me to "train them in the way they should go, so when they are old they will not turn from it." (Prov. 22:6) When I think of it in that way, I realize what a privilege I have been given to nurture and care for and teach these gifts from God! I believe we are creating a very close and special bond with our children that just could not be the same if they were spending their days away at school. The boys are also forming such a unique and close bond with each other that they would not have if they were away from each other at school. Sure, sometimes it is tough and they argue or get frustrated with one another, but what siblings don’t?! I actually think they get along better than most siblings because they do spend so much time together. It is my responsibility to recognize when they need a little break from each other and accommodate during those times. We are trying to make a habit of having special one on one outings with the boys, so they can have either mom or dad’s undivided attention for awhile, as well as some healthy time apart. Each day the boys are getting to learn new things together and teach each other, too. It warms my heart to see the delight on their faces when they learn something new….especially if it was their brother who taught it to them!
The boys are in a variety of activities, most of which they would not be able to participate in if they were in school. I love that they are able to experience classes with children of different ages and groups of various sizes. While the classes in public school are getting ridiculously huge thanks to a lack of funding, my children can still enjoy classes with fewer children and receive more attention and time from the instructor. I am able to choose what they are participating in and find things that they are interested in that work around our schedule. If the boys were in school all day, I would not want them involved in many classes or sports because that would be even more time they are away from home. Now I know that sounds maybe a bit controlling or like I’m trying to smother and overprotect my kids, but that is not the case at all. I want to spend as much time with them while they are young, instilling our values and providing a nurturing, godly environment for them so that they have a strong foundation on which to build their lives. How can I do that if they are away all day?
I realize there are great teachers out there in public and private schools who are willing to go above and beyond for their students, but who loves your children more than you? Who cares about their education more than you? Who cares about their future more than you? No one, I hope, except God! Some people think parents without a teaching credential are unqualified to teach their children. I used to be one of them! However after having children of my own and teaching them at home, I see that no one could know their individual needs and learning styles more than me. Even if a teacher cared that much, there is no way any teacher could take the time to get to know my child like I do. Class sizes are soaring in public schools, teachers are frustrated (for good reasons!) and political agendas and selfishness are being put ahead of the best interests of the children. No matter your political stance or views, it cannot be denied that the public school system is declining, at least for the time being.
My three biggest struggles with homeschooling are (1) finding the balance in guarding my children from poor influences, yet not smothering or “overprotecting” them, (2) interruptions to our schedule and (3) making time to nurture myself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. I have seen homeschooled children specifically (although this could apply to any child) that were sheltered too much and when they were old enough to be on their own, they rebelled and/or didn’t know how to deal with the “real” world. However, there are so many bad influences in our culture that, especially at a young age, I think it is vital to censor what your child is hearing and seeing. Finding that balance, which may even vary from child to child, can be difficult at times. Ultimately, they will grow up to make their own choices in life (whether we like them or not) and we have to have faith in the foundation that was built during their formative years and lots and lots of prayer for them!
Interruptions during the day are a part of life and each one needs to be weighed to determine if it is more important than the task at hand. A classroom teacher has a set schedule, just as I have a schedule as a homeschooling teacher. There can be so many distractions at home and it can be hard to stay on task at times. If the interruption can be turned into a “teachable moment”, then by all means, it is worth every second of it. If, however, it takes us off course, it can seem impossible at times to get back to what we were doing. In my second year of homeschooling, I’m still battling with trying to stick with what is planned, while allowing for some flexibility for positive interruptions.
Lastly, I so need to take care of my own heart, soul, mind and body. As a mom, I am always reminded of the airline stewardesses that remind the adults, in case of an emergency, to put their own oxygen masks on before putting on their child’s mask. I have to take the time to fill myself up, otherwise I have nothing to give to my children! Spiritually, I am in need of the word of God to fill my heart and a intimate relationship with my Savior, so I can stand firm and draw my strength from Him. How vital it is for my children to witness this relationship also! I need to daily ask for grace and wisdom and patience to make it through another day! It is so important for me to be striving to become a more godly woman, wife, mother and teacher. This is a lifelong process; a journey, not a destination. My vision for my family is that they will “love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, strength, and mind” and “love their neighbor as themselves.” As Jesus said, everything rests on those two commands. In my difficult moments of homeschooling, and just life in general, my prayer is that I can stand back and remember the bigger picture of what God has planned. I also need to remember that God loves my husband and children even more than I do. My ultimate goal is to hear Him say to me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
-We started homeschool year #2 with a first grader and a preschooler! So far, so good! There's so much I'm loving about homeschooling and getting to spend time with the boys learning new things everyday! The boys did an amazing job on their Zimbabwe report (shown below) and J.D. gave an oral report in front of A LOT of people! I was so proud of him! J.D. loves math and anything having to do with space since he wants to be an astornaut. He also loves to write (if I'm not nagging him about capital and lowercase letters and proper punctuation!) and he's becoming quite the artist, too. Colby works diligently in his preschool and kindergarten workbooks and is already putting sounds together to read words. He loves learning about space also and we have some great materials on astronomy so the boys can have their fill of it this school year!
-Colby turned 4! Hard to believe my "baby" is already four years old. Of course he wanted a CARS party just like his brother had last March, complete with a race car pinata and Lightning McQueen cake!
-Birthday Day #2 (yes, the very next day) we jumped out of an airplane for the fun of it.....with a parachute of course and a tandem jumper, too. Now THAT was one of the absolute FUNNEST things I've ever done......and I WILL be doing that again someday! :)
-Thanksgiving week at Santa Cruz......The boys and I went for NINE days of beautiful sunshine (one day with a little rain) at the beach. The days were spent playing on the beach and relaxing, watching gorgeous sunsets in the evening and then visiting around the campfire at night. The boys loved running from the waves and digging for sand crabs. It took over a week to get through all the laundry and there was sand everywhere, but it was so worth it!
-Mike celebrated his 35th birthday!!!!! No, I didn't take him skydiving, but I did surprise him because he thought I was working that night, but NO.....instead we went to dinner and the movies and ice cream and had a wonderful date night! So fun to have a night out while the boys are at Grandma & Grandpa's house!